Warning: some of the new planks in the Immanent Party platform may be offensive, or worse yet,funny. Here’s my third attempt at writing this thing
15)All government officials and workers will be subjected to random drug tests. If you can’t drive a car or fly a plane drunk or high,why should you be able to do so to a country?
16)Illegal immigrants from a country in North America, and over 18, will be subjected to democracy and military training and shipped back to their home country. Underage illegals will be handed over to social services. Babies born to illegals will be handed over to social services and their parents deported. Countries whose citizens commit more than 10% of the crime in a city,county or state will be considered to have done an act of war.
19)Babies born in the US to parents with visas or green card, the parents will have 6 months to pass citizenship and ESL classes, or they will be returned to their home country,regardless of political asylum. Second incident illegals will be treated as enemy combatants, and housed according to Geneva convention standards, to those countries who signed the treaty. Otherwise, they will be treated to the standard of their home country.
20) People who commit terrorist acts,such as bombings and massacres will no longer be given asylum, and can be sued and tried for such crimes here.
21) All government licensing and regulations will be in English, period, along will all road signs. Businesses over a certain size and sales volume will be required to have all English signs. My ancestors had to learn the language and assimilate,you do too. Also, radio stations will be subject to one foreign language station, per language, per 100 mile broadcast area.
22) We advocate for all churches to be allowed to act as areas of asylum, but still subject to search and seizure of weaponry and drugs. Churches who are found to hold such will be immediately disassembled and all assets seized.
23)All new house permits will be suspended until livable housing is made for all. Then new houses will be made only on currently vacant land.
24)Slumlords and companies holding vacant land without engaging in reasonable upkeep will have those land seized and turned over for public use.
25)Nuclear reactors will be safe to a 9.0 seismic action or shut down. Towns will allow transport of spent fuel to desert locations or have their power shut off, period. No more NIMBY for nuclear fuel disposal.
26) FEMA is to be disbanded and replaced with something that works, along with the FDA, EPA, and TSA. Like hardcore bands, some acronyms need to go when they start to suck.
27) The Immanent party’s solution to the Mideast problem is to cut off all military aid to Israel until there’s a Palestinian state,and all the settlements are gone,period. All Islamic states will have nuclear weapons placed in their cities, with state leaders getting triggers, that will set off one weapon at random. All disputed religious sites will be razed and turned into parks. If my kids fight over toys too much they get taken away too.
28) We will advocate for our new foreign policy, called the Chicago Way. We will no longer start wars, we will finish them. We also will utilize the tools that organizations use against us. We will also advocate assassination as a tool of spy craft against those states that use it. The gloves are off, terrorists.
29) Sports improvements: No more banning of performance enhancers, now required. Tougher requirements for prevention of head injuries, and salary and ticket price caps.
30)We want a revolution,but we want fun too.