Keep passing the open windows

So there’s this blog,Weekend Assignment, which gives you a new question every week to answer in blog format, and to spur your writing. And since I’m in a crisis with that right now, I figured I’d give it a try. Here’s their question:

Weekend Assignment #315: It seems that we’re all too busy these days to get around to everything we’d like to do, even if we had the money and means to do them. Is there a particular activity that takes up far too much of your time, and thus prevents you from getting around to other things?

Extra Credit: What is the #1 activity you wish you had more time for?

Here’s my answer:

If I had to pick just one thing that is the #1 time waster for me, it’s no contest. My wife and family would say being on the computer. But they don’t seem to realize  why I spend so much time on there. I could lie, and tell you it’s because I’m writing the next great American novel. No, sadly its usually checking game, movie and music sites to feed my insatiable hunger for all things media. But even then, I’m doing the one thing I waste time with the most:

Catastrophizing.

For those of you not in the psychology field or a depression sufferer in treatment, Catastrophizing  is the fine art of thinking things are going to be worse than they are. It’s like having your own personal Glum from the 70’s kids cartoon “Gulliver’s Travels” in your head all the time. A little voice saying “We’re doomed. We’re never going to make it.” every five seconds or so.

But I’m 40 now, and I am the Leonardo DaVinci of catastrophizing. You want to know how good my little demon(which is what I call my inner catastrophizing voice, and yes, it is a Fleetwood Mac reference) is at it? I’ve been treated to the breakup of my marriage, the death of my children,and the loss of life of every single living relative I have. My little demon’s rationale sometimes is that I need to be prepared for every eventuality. Well in those cases, I’m the Boy Scouts.

So what should I do about this? Well, therapists say I should write everything down when it happens, and write my way through it, thus forcing my brain to process it logically. This would be fine,except that when my wife gets ticked off at me, or my daughter gives me the disappointed look she should get an Oscar for, the process goes off at light speed, and slowing the little bugger down takes some serious effort. Not mention it’s hard to do when driving,or lying awake in the dark.

But there is another part of me that wonders: what would I do if I was free of catastrophizing? What heights of activity would I scale? Worse yet, would I just keep doing all the self destructive,time wasting activities that I do because of it,just because I don’t know how to do anything else?

I’d sell my soul to find out, though.

Extra Credit Answer: I’d love to find more time for laying in bed, first thing in the morning, my four year old daughter laying between my wife and I . Because I know every day those moments are getting fewer fewer.

As required by the blog, here’s the link to their blog: http://weekendassignment.blogspot.com/

1) Trying to write 100 pages of script in 30 days is driving me slowly insane.

2)Volcanic ash from the one in Iceland.

3)Fighting the urge to go to the top of a tower and pick off anyone in a Snuggie.

4)Trying to figure out why I got assigned a story on skin care by an editor.

5)Massive addiction to mass media.

6)My eyesight still hasn’t recovered from the 3-D in Clash of the Titans.

7)Too busy running around trying to trap dumb Tea Party members with my Obama bumper sticker.

8)It’s the NHL,ECHL and AHL Playoffs. Go Hawks/Wolves/Checkers!

9)Still fuming about Faith and the Muse’s probable cancellation here.

10) Aubry has discovered the neighborhood children. Unfortunately, they make my blood pressure spike until I’m dizzy.

So,I’ve been reading this book,”Dangerously Funny”, about the rise of the Smothers Brothers, and their censorship battles with the CBS network. For a couple of guys whose show started out as a simple variety show, they were very revolutionary. Watch the video for “Give Peace a Chance” sometime, the one filmed at the bed-in in Toronto. That’s Tom Smothers you see playing guitar, and hear on the recorded video. The Smothers Brothers paid the ultimate career price for their supposed sins,being fired from CBS and having to fight a protracted legal battle against the network. It really got me to thinking , though, where are all the Smothers out there? I’m not talking about satirists alone. Let’s be honest, most of them are preaching to the converted(Jon Stewart), or relegated to late night pay cable or some other TV equivalent of West Virginia dinner theater.(Bill Maher). No, I’m talking about those who would use it to directly confront the evils of our time(war in iraq, corporate greed, incompetent government) with humor and fun. Who would use a major network to promote human causes, and worthwhile artists, and for once,not have them on just to play their latest single.(Who wouldn’t kill to see some artists do that?) Now, I’m sure someone’s going to point out that a)we have 1000+ channels and b) there’s this thing called the internet. But as much as a band can sell on Myspace and do well, ask how many of them would cut off their mother’s left tit for a prime time network spot, and if they could play the two songs that best represent them. Artists used the Smothers Brothers show to launch new songs, not rehash old ones. I’d love to have someone use CBS’ money or maybe good old arms dealing dough from GE on NBC for something like that. And yes, the networks may be dying, but it may take a long time for them to do it. They still get more viewers than anything out there, period. And only every other house in this country has a computer and internet, still. So who would I put on the Trevor Curtis variety hour?My opening spot would be a stand-up by either Neil Hamburger or Margaret Cho. Musical guests for the first season would probably be Cruxshadows, Immortal Technique, Wolves in the Throne Room, and Gwar, just to see how many censor’s heads I could get to explode. And Patton Oswalt,David Cross and Brian Posehn would help me pick out my sketch writers.Lastly, Jim Hightower, Amy Goodman, and Paul Heyman would close out each week with a rotating rant.